The Essence of Irritation

This morning I'm in the shower and I hear my son yelling my name. I open the shower door and he's standing there telling me, "There's a fly downstairs. It's irritating sissy." Apparently our 3 1/2 year old errand boy had been (once again) sent by his sister upstairs to deliver the message to me that she was being repeatedly bothered by an insect. I had no response to this other than to tell Nathan to go back down and watch cartoons.

A few minutes later my daughter arrives in the bathroom. She lets me know at high volume that she needs my assistance, immediately. 

"Dad, this fly is irritating me. I need you to come get rid of it." 

I felt like a mob thug, being summoned to knock somebody off. 

"Honey, if the fly was trying to suck your brain out of your head through your ear, I would consider this urgent. I'm in the shower. Just tell the fly your Dad said to leave you alone."

"But Dad...it's irritating me!"

"Don't let it irritate you. Just shoo it away."

"It won't stop irritating me!"

This is where I closed the shower door, and just stood there. Realizing that this is one of those conversations that's not actually a conversation - it's 2 people saying what they're saying, not really listening to the other person. 

I also wondered, "Since when did we start saying 'irritating' so much?" Why not bothering, or frustrating, or bugging...yeah, bugging is totally appropriate here. Irritating? Irritating is someone yelling at you repeatedly while you're trying to enjoy the 5 minutes of your cool shower. Irritating is being sent like a pizza delivery boy up and down the stairs with messages that you're too lazy to deliver. That's irritating!

So right now Morgan has taken the kids to the grocery store. Item #13 on the list? Flyswatter!

Shooting Yourself in the Foot

This is not a political statement or endorsement.

I know most of us have had enough of politics this last year or so. We had probably had enough before it ever began! Things are starting to come into the clear though; either John McCain or Barak Obama will be the next President of the United States.

As I look at Barak Obama I see several things: some that concern me and some that truly excite me. Much of what I see that lands on the positive side is my attempting to see it from other people's perspectives. I think about the possibility of having the first African American President and what a huge thing that would be. I also know that Obama (in the eyes of most of the world outside the US) would be a bridge builder. Again, I see some exciting possibilities.

That's why it plain flat astounds me (and at the same time doesn't surprise me one ounce) that the first cataclysmic, hurtful, damaging, and reprobate verbal miscue would have to come from no one else but Jesse Jackson. Thanks again to the "Reverend" for showing his true colors and for exposing his true character. Kudos to you, Reverend Jackson, for once again taking the positive strides and movement of progress and in effect, crapping on them. (Excuse the verb, but I was toning it down!)

I am not making these observations in judgement - but this is a man who has chosen to be a "God-ordained" leader. When you take that banner and place it above your head and in front of your wagon you have asked for my criticism and the accountability of others. So stop opening your mouth, start inserting your foot, starting trying to see things from everyone's perspective, listen a LOT more, and remember that every single word that comes out of your mouth can and will have consequences and ramifications for ALL African Americans and for ALL of us who call ourselves Christians. Please realize that you are essentially shooting yourself in the foot every time you make this mistake. You would think the public humiliation and apology would be enough of a bullet through the big toe to make you aware of this. Once again, only time will tell.

Thank you.

Let That Be Enough

When you spend 14 days at the beach, lounging on the doorstep of the ocean, playing golf, eating fresh fish, sleeping in and tasting the "good life"...you really can't complain. So make sure and understand this is not complaining in the slightest. But when you spend time living with one foot in that world for a few days you can (and should) make some observations and gain some insight.

I realize more all the time that the longer I go without being productive - the more time I spend without making a contribution to the world around me - the more restless and weary I grow. I believe with all my heart that we all need time away from the everyday and the routine to re-focus and get some perspective on life. We also need time to spend with our families, showering reckless amounts of attention and love on them that can become too scarce at times. I don't think it's so much about that - I think it's more about tasting a life that I know I am not called to live. I am not called to "privilege".

God hasn't put me on this earth to judge anyone - I don't have the right or the ability. But I do have the responsibility to judge my own heart and motives and I can see clearly that privilege is not something I can grow used to. Just having possession of this laptop I type on may be the far reaching extent of any privilege I ever know or experience. Let that be enough.

I often think about John Piper's book "Don't Waste Your Life". I remember coming out of Juarez for the first time and feeling as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Then hopping on a plane, tearing open the pages of this book and having it reinforce everything I felt. Our life is about enormous things. And none of them have anything to do with privilege. Let that be satisfying.

Sure, I love the beach, the sun, the fresh shrimp and the sleeping in...but most of all I love remembering why I'm put on this earth. God is so good. Every good and perfect gift in my life comes from Him. I have all that I need. 

Let that be enough.

Tide Pool Theology

Looking at everything through a spiritual lens can be considered a gift or a curse. I consider it the former. After all, we are created by the One who is infinite, holy, perfect, all-knowing, and who details His handiwork with precision and love. How can we not look at the world and everything in it and marvel? How can we not see that everything is spiritual?

That being said, I was sitting on the beach the other day as my kids were playing in the tide pools. A few of us started talking about how the currents create a new beach every time the tides come in and out. In essence, I can go to the same beach every day of my life and be coming to a "different" beach. It's constant - always there - and yet always changing.

I began to sense that God desires me and my walk with Him to parallel the sand on the shore. While my relationship with Him is constant - He never leaves me, forsakes me, walks away from me, or takes away His love or salvation - my life, my habits, my character, my discipline, my faithfulness, and everything about me should be ever-changing. I am NOT called to stay the same.

What if the beach rebelled? What if the tides come in tomorrow and the shore refuses to give way or to shift and move? What happens then? I'm not sure...mainly because it's not going to happen. But how often does God desire to change and re-shape us, only to find us refusing to move or be broken? I see this constantly in my elders and I see myself wrestling with it more often now than before. As we see many things in our life around us changing, it's as if we desperately start grasping for something to stay the same. We long for something to remain unchanged. All the while forgetting...that's where God comes in.

If you're looking or longing for anything else in this life to remain constant and true other than Him, you're going to be the victim of endless frustration and agony. He never changes, yet He desires to constantly be changing you and me.

Take a lesson from the tides pools and wake up tomorrow ready to be different than you were today.

My Father's Day Memoir

I took my family to the airport this morning - said goodbye before the sun came up on Father's Day. It's painfully apparent to me now that every time I'm away from my family I feel more and more lost, like I can't totally find myself. So I'm sitting here at home, a fraction of me, asking God to ready me for what's ahead. So much ahead.

Every time I cross the border to build houses, God reveals Himself in a new way. More and more each time I see things in a new light. A great source of God's voice comes through the part of your soul where your children's faces & voices live. When I meet these families in Mexico, I look at their children...and i see my own. I wonder what it would be like to be them. For me, there's nothing like this experience to cause all self-centeredness to run for the hills. And isn't that where I'm supposed to be running? Constantly?

I miss them so much already. Who knows what I'll be feeling a week from now. And if you're with me, don't ask. You'll know. Maybe the concrete dust and the heat will make it all a little easier. 

Who am I kidding?

These Are Things That I Don't Understand

Often I find myself perplexed...driving down the road...wondering when I missed the casting call to be in the reality version of Dumb & Dumber. Was I sick that day? I don't get it sometimes. In the words of Chris Martin, these are things that I don't understand:

Are they making cars now without ashtrays? My grandma could turn the ashtray in her '79 Cadi into Mount Vesuvius before that thing needed to be emptied. Now, it seems like every single day I'm driving behind someone that feels the need to launch a cigarette butt out the window. AAAAHHHHHH! One more time and my head might blow off!

They post these signs everywhere that say "Right Lane Must Turn Right". Are there certain types of contacts & glasses that make these signs invisible? Do some people get a different license than me that allows them to ignore certain traffic signs? I guess I can ask when one of these nice folks finally plows through an intersection and T-bones me.

My wife went to buy the pizza last Saturday night. The "CHEESY" Bread (as it is named) looked like a dry pizza with a few strands of cheese on it. When Morgan asked for more cheese, they charged her a dollar. Is it me, or if you call it CHEESY shouldn't it be obligated to be just that? Cheesy?

I guess I was also absent the day they started saying it was a good thing for your pants to drop past your south side. I know - this is one that's been there for awhile now - but that's what's eatin me with it. Should it take ten years for someone to wake up and realize they didn't stop making belts? If you think people really want to see your underwear, go try out to be a Calvin Klein briefs model. Then you'll find out who really wants to see what you should be hiding.

And on a more permanent note of longevity, I still do not understand algebra. Never have, never will. And these are things that I don't understand.

Listen Up!

What do we know about James? He was one of Jesus' brothers. Can you imagine? The Creator of the universe, clothed in humanity, is your sibling? Chew on that for awhile. Another thing I've concluded about James is that he either understood firsthand the struggle of putting your foot in your mouth - not thinking before you speak - or he was around enough people who taught him this lesson that he learned by observation. Either way, his words are a constant beacon in my mind, bringing me back to center.

Let me explain. James 1:19 tells us to be "...quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." This has become like a mantra for me - a recovering, short-tempered, harsh, black & white, foot-in-mouth addict. One thing I find convicting in this exhortation is the realization that our anger is often rooted in our unwillingness to truly listen and our never-ceasing ability to open our pie hole and blow hot air. Yes, if I talked less & listened more...I might find my blood pressure lower and the wake of destruction I leave behind diminishing rapidly.

I've been reminded of these truths several times lately, and sadly it has been through witnessing those older than me (who should be displaying a monumental amount of discretion and spiritual maturity) completely forgoing James' advice. It is painful to hear things that you know if perhaps just one more moment of consideration and prayer were aimed in their direction...would probably never even been uttered. WORDS are not just words - they are a revelation of the lava and venom that can be brewing within our flesh. WORDS are an enormous part of why we find ourselves like Paul in Romans 7 - screaming to the heavens about the struggle to finally find victory over the flesh. (For more read Romans 6 & 7)

I'm not sure if this hits home with you or not. If it doesn't, chances are you just don't realize that you're talking too much, listening too little, and have an invisible size 10 shoe sticking out of your yapper. If you're interested in finding out, my encouragement to you is this: wait 5 seconds before you respond to anything said to you. Give it one week. See if you don't find yourself disregarding much of what you were about to say into the Recycle Bin.

And to you, the spiritually mature: WAKE UP! There are people watching you, listening to you, looking to you to see how this life as a Christ-follower is supposed to be lived. And like it or not, your "Sunday worship" is only as valid as your everyday WORDS. Those words are the subconscious window into our soul that reveal WHO we are, WHAT we really believe, and how much we value those around us. 

For more of the real deal, check these out:

Philippians 4:5

Proverbs 10:19

Proverbs 15:1

Ecclesiastes 5:1-3

James 3:2