These Are Things That I Don't Understand

Often I find myself perplexed...driving down the road...wondering when I missed the casting call to be in the reality version of Dumb & Dumber. Was I sick that day? I don't get it sometimes. In the words of Chris Martin, these are things that I don't understand:

Are they making cars now without ashtrays? My grandma could turn the ashtray in her '79 Cadi into Mount Vesuvius before that thing needed to be emptied. Now, it seems like every single day I'm driving behind someone that feels the need to launch a cigarette butt out the window. AAAAHHHHHH! One more time and my head might blow off!

They post these signs everywhere that say "Right Lane Must Turn Right". Are there certain types of contacts & glasses that make these signs invisible? Do some people get a different license than me that allows them to ignore certain traffic signs? I guess I can ask when one of these nice folks finally plows through an intersection and T-bones me.

My wife went to buy the pizza last Saturday night. The "CHEESY" Bread (as it is named) looked like a dry pizza with a few strands of cheese on it. When Morgan asked for more cheese, they charged her a dollar. Is it me, or if you call it CHEESY shouldn't it be obligated to be just that? Cheesy?

I guess I was also absent the day they started saying it was a good thing for your pants to drop past your south side. I know - this is one that's been there for awhile now - but that's what's eatin me with it. Should it take ten years for someone to wake up and realize they didn't stop making belts? If you think people really want to see your underwear, go try out to be a Calvin Klein briefs model. Then you'll find out who really wants to see what you should be hiding.

And on a more permanent note of longevity, I still do not understand algebra. Never have, never will. And these are things that I don't understand.