The Great Cultural Epidemic of this Generation

Next time you’re out to eat, if you want to find where the teenagers are sitting, just look around. They’re hard to miss. Heads down. Eyes glued to their phones. Almost unaware of each other’s presence. It’s honestly bizarre. If a group of my 15-year old friends had peeked into the future and seen a group of 15-year old friends today, physically all together, yet somehow on different electronic planets, I honestly believe we would have thought we were looking at zombies. 

But to be fair, I don’t know that we can single out the teenagers on this.

Because in many cases you’ll find the exact same picture and scenario with a group of adults. Even husbands and wives. Heads down. Eyes glued to their phones. Almost unaware of each other’s presence. It’s quite sad.

In many cases and situations, my kids are the weirdos. We don’t allow phones at the table. Very often it seems like we’re the only ones. And we not only have a hard time enforcing this rule with them; it’s just as difficult policing ourselves on it. We have all been drawn in, mesmerized, drugged, and are now full fledged addicts. I know you’ve sensed the tension. You’ve read the data and statistics. You’ve felt guilty, and at the same time, pleasured. And yes, I mean pleasured. We all seem to be on this endorphin-firing ride together. So everything I’m about to say to you is out of empathy, participation, and self-indictment. With all that said, let me throw out a monumentally important question for all of us to consider in this moment in history:

WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING?!!!

We’re allowing our kids to become the walking dead.

We’ve put access to porn right into the hands of our teenage boys.

We’re watching our girls unknowingly feed the beast of self-loathing because it’s disguised as self-worth.

We are failing to teach our kids how to communicate with & relate to other human beings.

We can’t remember or recall anything because we’ve just allowed ourselves to Google it.

We have succumbed to the most lazy form of behavior modification in history.

Here it is in blunt force black & white:

We are teaching (by allowing) our kids to gratify their flesh rather than to satisfy their souls.

And the #1 reason and way that we are teaching them this is by doing it ourselves.

We are becoming the walking dead.

We don’t think something has actually happened unless we’ve “posted” about it. And then, once we’ve posted about it, we’re not actually gratified by what we did or where we went or who we were with (which we’ve proven with our pic) until a whole bunch of other people Like it. I don’t really even believe I’m typing this. It sounds so utterly bizarre, which is what makes it so much more ridiculous and sad.

Can I encourage & exhort you with what I’ve sensed the Lord admonishing me with lately?

Let’s be fully present. Right there. Where we are. What we’re doing. Who we’re with. Fully live it.

Give your kids all your attention. I mean, be reckless! Get on the floor with them, go have a catch in the backyard, get in the pool or in the ocean, drink that milkshake and eat that pizza, watch that movie, and have an absolute blast without worrying about what everyone else is doing or if anyone else even knows or cares!

Know that every moment I neglect being fully present, someone else or something else is discipling my kids. And whatever that something else, we can wager that it won’t be discipling our kids to walk with Jesus.

If your teenager has a cellphone or tablet or device of any kind, CHECK IT! Go through it. Let them be totally aware that that device actually belongs to YOU and that they’re gaining the privilege to use it. And that you are going to scour every app, every text, every search, every nook & cranny of that phone because if you don’t, the Lord is going to hold you accountable. And yes, He is.

If your kid has a cellphone, I would encourage you to totally rethink that. If your kid can't do pre-algebra yet, I don't think she should be on Instagram or Snapchat. 

This is the great cultural epidemic of this generation. The only way we can keep them from drinking the Kool-Aid is to stop drinking it ourselves! As of this moment, we are our own kid's drug dealer. I'm not OK with that.

I want to highly recommend to you Andy Crouch’s book, The Tech-Wise Family. I’m reading it right now, and when I’m done I’m going to have our entire family read it together. The book begins with Andy's 16-year old daughter explaining, “Tech-wise parenting has added wonder to my life…. The real world is so fantastic that getting a taste of it makes even the most jaded kid want more.” If that doesn’t grab your attention and suck you in, I’m not sure what will.

I also encourage you to find friends - other parents - who are fed up and ready to do something about it. Hold each other accountable. Encourage one another. Give each other ideas and support. And don’t give up!

Jesus said, “Where your treasure is there your heart will be also.”

What is getting the most of our time? Our attention? What are we treasuring? 

Whatever (or whoever) it is…that’s what we worship. That’s where our heart is.