1-800-WEHELPU

If for some reason I ever move to a foreign country and I am in desperate need of a job and this leads me to aforementioned country's unemployment office, I wonder...I wonder, will someone there who's maybe had a bad day or maybe just inherently doesn't like Americans think, "I know. I'll give him a Customer Service job in telecommunications! That'll show him!" Is this what goes on? Is this what is happening here in the land of the free and the home of the brave? I'm no Dick Tracy, but I think I'm on to something.

I just got off the phone with Travelocity's Customer Service line - where I was on hold for over an hour last week - and I literally could not understand one word this nice man said to me. And isn't that the point really? They're always nice, courteous, polite, helpful people...just trying to do their job. But their job is totally dependent on being able to communicate. In ENGLISH! Someone needs to let our immigrating friends know that some wise guy at the unemployment office is getting a good laugh at everyone's expense.

So maybe we don't have an immigration problem. Maybe we have an unemployment office problem. And maybe some of the unemployment office workers need to be deported to Shanghai or Cairo or Brussels where they can work the 1-800-WEHELPU line answering calls from the natives. Maybe that's the solution to this whole thing.

And then again, maybe not. But it would sure be worth a good laugh.