Just before the spies were sent into the Promised Land, there's an account in Numbers 12 that Miriam and Aaron "criticized Moses because he married a Cushite woman." The history behind Moses' apparent lapse in marital judgment was probably greatly influenced by the fact that he had in essence been an Egyptian the first 40 years of his life and then spent the next 40 years in the boonies. We don't know who this wife was, but moreover there's no explanation as to why Miriam would have had a problem with this. Or maybe there is....
In the very next verse it tells us that Miriam and Aaron said, "Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn't He spoken through us, too?" So, you're probably wondering, what in the heck does this have to do with Moses's Cushite wife? Nothing! And that's the point. Here's one more classic example in history of someone complaining about THIS when they're really actually fuming over THAT! Convincing ourselves that THIS is really THAT. It happens all the time. Let me explain.
Often we find ourselves venting, fuming, giving someone an earful over what so-and-so did to us - in English we call that gossiping - and in actuality, it's just a symptom of a much greater self-induced disease called bitterness. We allow this thing - whatever was done to us or said about us or how we were horribly mistreated - to sit below the surface and turn into a fortress of soul decay. We think that this "sweeping under the rug" is a sure-fire way to just not think about it, forget it, and pretend it never happened. Are we serious? Never in the course of human history has it worked that way. Never!
Miriam was incensed that Moses was getting all the face-time and the "glory" for communicating with the Lord and on his behalf - he got the lead anchor spot and she was still doing the community service bit that follows the forecast. She was not happy about this. In fact, she was down right mad. And because she sat on her anger long enough, it turned to bitterness. And God noticed! He pays attention, you know. When you and I find ourselves in these insignificant moments in life (so we think) that's when the Lord has His eyes peeled and sits back to watch how one of His kids will handle this internal moral dilemma. He wants to see if we'll have the courage - or guts - to point to the real wound and call it what it is. And so often we don't do this. Because it's easier to point to something else - some other scrape or scratch - while the real cancer remains, eating away at our soul.
The Lord means business. He slapped a shameful case of leprosy on Miriam. He doesn't seem to do that very often these days. Instead, He simply allows the Holy Spirit to quietly whisper...very quietly...but very clearly...until we're finally ready to say, "I surrender".
Are you wounded? Are you hurt? Are you rotting away? Will you call it what it is and let it go? Or will you keep pretending...and let it keep decaying and molding and destroying who you are? Don't do it. Don't wind up "excluded from the camp" with your heart a million miles away.
Been there? I have. I would love to pray for you!
February 26, 2010
February 17, 2010
Just Get Out of Bed!
Yesterday morning I woke up and grabbed my daily bowl of cereal (which I eat sitting in bed watching the news). Usually at that point I continue on in the daily routine: suit up, brush my teeth, and head out to exercise. But not yesterday. I finished the cereal, put the bowl on the nightstand, and slithered back down into the bed. My running shoes were beckoning from the closet. Only their cries of loneliness fell on deaf ears. I just felt like going back to bed! My sheets were crying louder than my running shoes!
In perfect timing (and probably my payment for having the stupid TV on to begin with) a commercial comes on. All I hear is, "Are you staying in bed longer? Just wanting to sleep for no reason?" [And let me interject at this point that my family had been gone for 4-5 days and I was beginning to feel what we might call "a little lonely"] CONTINUE ANTIDEPRESSANT COMMERCIAL: "Are you feeling sad? Lonely? Maybe you need to try Proxactivelexa...." Whatever the name was, I can't remember. All I knew was I wanted to punch the guy in the face who was narrating this 30 second seduction of my self-pity. And then the explanation continued....
He then explained that his drug of choice helped regulate Serotonin, the drug in your brain (and all through your body) that transmits signals. It basically helps your brain, your gut, and various other organs get along. Many forms of depression effect serotonin levels. At the same time, EXERCISE is commonly known as one of the most effective ways of increasing & releasing serotonin. Ironic, isn't it. The day I simply want to sleep in, and happen to be a little over-emotional, I wind up lying there wallowing in the guilt of knowing that if I'd just gotten my lazy butt out of bed and gone to the gym, I wouldn't have seen or heard this stupid commercial and I wouldn't be thinking about this at all. And that is life my friends. This morning, I didn't even hit Snooze!
*Please note: this is NOT an inference of any kind against antidepressants or anyone using them. I know that for some this is a chemical issue that is best dealt with through medication. Do NOT take this personally. And please keep taking your Paxil!
In perfect timing (and probably my payment for having the stupid TV on to begin with) a commercial comes on. All I hear is, "Are you staying in bed longer? Just wanting to sleep for no reason?" [And let me interject at this point that my family had been gone for 4-5 days and I was beginning to feel what we might call "a little lonely"] CONTINUE ANTIDEPRESSANT COMMERCIAL: "Are you feeling sad? Lonely? Maybe you need to try Proxactivelexa...." Whatever the name was, I can't remember. All I knew was I wanted to punch the guy in the face who was narrating this 30 second seduction of my self-pity. And then the explanation continued....
He then explained that his drug of choice helped regulate Serotonin, the drug in your brain (and all through your body) that transmits signals. It basically helps your brain, your gut, and various other organs get along. Many forms of depression effect serotonin levels. At the same time, EXERCISE is commonly known as one of the most effective ways of increasing & releasing serotonin. Ironic, isn't it. The day I simply want to sleep in, and happen to be a little over-emotional, I wind up lying there wallowing in the guilt of knowing that if I'd just gotten my lazy butt out of bed and gone to the gym, I wouldn't have seen or heard this stupid commercial and I wouldn't be thinking about this at all. And that is life my friends. This morning, I didn't even hit Snooze!
*Please note: this is NOT an inference of any kind against antidepressants or anyone using them. I know that for some this is a chemical issue that is best dealt with through medication. Do NOT take this personally. And please keep taking your Paxil!
February 9, 2010
Valleys Fill First
Valleys. I'm not sure what to think about them. I know for me, I usually wind up there because I've gone tumbling down some sort of hill in my life. Or if I spend any time wandering aimlessly in my Spirit, I typically find myself standing dazed, wondering how I fell from that mountaintop view where I'd been resting and enjoying the view of life. Right now though, I'm there. In the valley. Thankfully, I believe there is joy and peace and hope that can be found there. If you're willing to look for it. Here's what I mean.
In December I ran my 3rd marathon. I know going in that when the race is over I will go through a few weeks of really having no desire to run. None! This time it's been a little different. It hasn't been weeks - it's been months! I have NO desire to run. But those mornings when I have the determination to lace up the shoes and "GO", I never regret it. My walk with the Lord is this way as well. The time in His Word and communing with Him is never regretted. Never!
For me, the valley is also the place of greatest desperation and hunger. I am never more aware of my need of Jesus and His love for me. I think there is a fire that waits for me there that is the heart of God longing to refine me - to burn away the garbage that I have decorated my heart and life with like bad wallpaper. The Lord leads me there and shows me how disgusting the walls really look - He pulls back the veil that blinds and gives you more of His eyes.
I remember the first time I ever heard the song "Valleys Fill First" by Caedmon's Call. What encouragement! The idea that even though I'm standing at a place where (in my mind) I "feel" far from the good things of God - a place where I see the rain and sun and wind sweeping over the summit - I realize that even still, the valley is where that river runs, filling it up and bringing refreshment. It's all about perspective. Do I want to be touched by the Lord...or filled? Happy...or content in Him?
Valleys. I never choose them. The Lord seems to forget to warn me that I'm approaching that hill I will slide down on my face. But He's always there to meet me when I come to a stop, stand to my feet, and look up. Valleys fill first. I long to be filled! What about you?
In December I ran my 3rd marathon. I know going in that when the race is over I will go through a few weeks of really having no desire to run. None! This time it's been a little different. It hasn't been weeks - it's been months! I have NO desire to run. But those mornings when I have the determination to lace up the shoes and "GO", I never regret it. My walk with the Lord is this way as well. The time in His Word and communing with Him is never regretted. Never!
For me, the valley is also the place of greatest desperation and hunger. I am never more aware of my need of Jesus and His love for me. I think there is a fire that waits for me there that is the heart of God longing to refine me - to burn away the garbage that I have decorated my heart and life with like bad wallpaper. The Lord leads me there and shows me how disgusting the walls really look - He pulls back the veil that blinds and gives you more of His eyes.
I remember the first time I ever heard the song "Valleys Fill First" by Caedmon's Call. What encouragement! The idea that even though I'm standing at a place where (in my mind) I "feel" far from the good things of God - a place where I see the rain and sun and wind sweeping over the summit - I realize that even still, the valley is where that river runs, filling it up and bringing refreshment. It's all about perspective. Do I want to be touched by the Lord...or filled? Happy...or content in Him?
Valleys. I never choose them. The Lord seems to forget to warn me that I'm approaching that hill I will slide down on my face. But He's always there to meet me when I come to a stop, stand to my feet, and look up. Valleys fill first. I long to be filled! What about you?
January 28, 2010
I'm Going to Court!
In December I was pulled over for "failing to stop at a Stop sign". It was seriously frustrating due to the fact that I DID actually STOP! After realizing the officer had predetermined that he would be kindly handing me a citation, I decided to sit quietly take my lumps and go on. That lasted about 10 whole minutes! Then the internal war began over the principle of the matter - I can't just roll over and take it! Can I? Of course not! I would fight this to the death!
[It doesn't take long to become so overwhelmed, exhausted, distracted, and consumed with the important things in life that you just begin to not care anymore about exerting the effort to fight for principle]
I arrived at the courthouse this afternoon (yes, today) with the plan of walking in, paying my fine, and going on with life as usual. Let's just get this dumb thing behind us, shall we. And then the nice lady behind the counter disrupted my whole plan - she screwed it up royally! She looked at me and simply said, "You realize that by paying the fine...you're pleading GUILTY?" [Very LONG PAUSE at this point] The hand with debit card extended began to draw back. The apathy that had allowed me to finally say, "Screw it! I'll just pay this and get it over with." was now gone. Vanished. But I still continued rationalizing. I told her, "I just don't want to make a fuss and argue about this". I even said, "I'm a pastor. I don't know if I feel right about fighting this." The other lady behind the counter - who evidently had nothing better to do - joined in by asking me, "Are you GUILTY?" - to which I defensively retorted, "NO!" Which led me right back to the question staring me in the face: WHY? Why would you take the easy way out? Why would you essentially say, "OK. I'll pretend I did it."? Especially when compromising was going to cost $144? Seriously.
So thanks to my 2 new friends at the courthouse speaking up - and the unwillingness of my integrity to simply lay down and roll over - I now have a court date. I don't want to argue. I have no desire for a fight. I simply want to share the truth and believe that it will set me free! Sure, I want out of paying this stupid fine. But more than that, I don't want those 2 ladies behind the counter at Madison City Hall to think I ran that Stop sign! As if!
[And at worst, maybe the Judge will cut my fine in half. That would be AWESOME!]
Been there? Struggled with this? I'd love to hear about it!
[It doesn't take long to become so overwhelmed, exhausted, distracted, and consumed with the important things in life that you just begin to not care anymore about exerting the effort to fight for principle]
I arrived at the courthouse this afternoon (yes, today) with the plan of walking in, paying my fine, and going on with life as usual. Let's just get this dumb thing behind us, shall we. And then the nice lady behind the counter disrupted my whole plan - she screwed it up royally! She looked at me and simply said, "You realize that by paying the fine...you're pleading GUILTY?" [Very LONG PAUSE at this point] The hand with debit card extended began to draw back. The apathy that had allowed me to finally say, "Screw it! I'll just pay this and get it over with." was now gone. Vanished. But I still continued rationalizing. I told her, "I just don't want to make a fuss and argue about this". I even said, "I'm a pastor. I don't know if I feel right about fighting this." The other lady behind the counter - who evidently had nothing better to do - joined in by asking me, "Are you GUILTY?" - to which I defensively retorted, "NO!" Which led me right back to the question staring me in the face: WHY? Why would you take the easy way out? Why would you essentially say, "OK. I'll pretend I did it."? Especially when compromising was going to cost $144? Seriously.
So thanks to my 2 new friends at the courthouse speaking up - and the unwillingness of my integrity to simply lay down and roll over - I now have a court date. I don't want to argue. I have no desire for a fight. I simply want to share the truth and believe that it will set me free! Sure, I want out of paying this stupid fine. But more than that, I don't want those 2 ladies behind the counter at Madison City Hall to think I ran that Stop sign! As if!
[And at worst, maybe the Judge will cut my fine in half. That would be AWESOME!]
Been there? Struggled with this? I'd love to hear about it!
January 25, 2010
Avoiding Adultery: Making Much of Your Marriage!
The Journal of Psychology and Christianity reported that "Up to 65% of husbands and 55% of wives will commit adultery by the age of 40". Did you absorb that stat? Yet, yesterday I asked for a show of hands: "Who is planning on committing adultery?" Not one hand. No one! (Thank God! I hadn't prepared myself for how to handle that one.) What this exposes is pretty cut and dry and simple: almost NO ONE who commits adultery is ever "planning" on it. The greater problem is, no one has a plan to AVOID falling on their face in this area. If you need help with this plan, take some time and listen to the message from yesterday: www.thebrookchurch.com/pages/podcasts.html
I challenged our men with this question: Have you stopped dating your wife? Sadly, many men - after several years of getting seriously comfortable co-existing - begin to love their chair and remote and SportsCenter more than their wife. I know, it sounds bad when I write it. That's because it IS bad! It's criminal. But it's FACT. Husbands have to understand that the young lady they chased and pursued still wants to be pursued. (Regardless of what they tell you - they want you to still want them!) This exhortation was warmly welcomed by the ladies, of course. But it was followed with this encouragement to the wives present: If you want your husbands to chase & pursue you, give them a reason! If everyday is "cotton pajamas and house shoes" day, things need to change! Ladies need to remember that one reason your husband was attracted to you is because he was ATTRACTED to you! You were trying and working hard to attract him and reel him in. So why would you start trying to REPEL him now? This is a 2-way street. This is NOT 50-50 - this is 100-100. This is marriage! It is 2 people working to grow and serve each other and give each other countless reasons to say, "I would never do anything to break this commitment or to crush this person's heart." It is willingly emptying yourself and putting someone else first. And THIS is the essence of what it means to be an "Adult". And in case we're not all connecting the dots, ADULTERY has NO place in that mix. Period. It is a KILLER! Adultery makes an adult a whole lot less of an adult. Sorta weird, huh?
Has your life been affected by adultery? Has it personally hit home?
I pray that the horrifying statistic I shared with you earlier begins to plummet as the people of God go to war for the sake of their marriages.
Go Deeper:
Proverbs 5
Matthew 5:27-29
January 21, 2010
The Greater Tragedy
The earthquake in Haiti this last week has given us one more opportunity to see the church - the people of God - mobilize and stand quickly to come to the aid of those in need. You really see what people are made of when crisis and disaster strike. We saw this with Hurricane Katrina, with the tornado that hit Greensburg, Kansas, and the tsunami a few years ago. Even during this shaky and turbulent economic time, people step up. And shouldn't this always be the case? But as I've been burdened by this over the last week and prayed, "Lord, what can I do?" I have begun to sense this haunting message that He keeps whispering back to me: "What about the BIGGER disaster?"
I shouldn't really wonder why the images from Haiti shake me to the core - or be confused by the stirring and outpouring of aid and help that comes at a time like this. But what I wonder about is why this sense of urgency and disaster doesn't overwhelm me on a daily basis knowing that people all around me are desperately in need of Jesus Christ. Seriously - do I believe what scriptures tells me? Do I believe Peter when he declares that "the end of all things in near"? And what about the fact that Christ made it clear that when "the Good News about the Kingdom of God is preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it" that THEN "finally, the end will come"? Do we think Jesus was just talking to hear his head rattle? Would He make this sort of claim just to raz us - get our attention - to only drop the "Just kidding!" bomb on us later? No.
Why are we not daily wrecked by the lost? Why do I sit in a restaurant more concerned with the service of the waiter than his salvation? And I know that meeting people's needs - being the "hands and feet" of Christ - reaching out and serving the "least of these" - is part of bringing the Kingdom of God wherever I go. But is it not also announcing that Jesus Christ died on a bloody cross for the sins of the world and is the only way to find salvation and peace and redemption?
Is it a greater tragedy that someone died in Haiti who will be eternally separated from their Creator and Redeemer? Or is it a greater tragedy that someone lives next door to you (or me), works in the cubicle next to you, sits in the bleachers at your kids game with you, walks through this life with you...not knowing their Creator and Redeemer...and we just don't care? What is the greater tragedy?
If we are moved and changed and wrecked by the Gospel - by the love and salvation found in Jesus Christ - it's time to prove it! This story I'm writing called MY LIFE - I want it to be filled with risks and laughs and faith and failures...but NOT tragedy. Especially not the tragedy of opportunity lost and words left unsaid.
What story are you writing?
I shouldn't really wonder why the images from Haiti shake me to the core - or be confused by the stirring and outpouring of aid and help that comes at a time like this. But what I wonder about is why this sense of urgency and disaster doesn't overwhelm me on a daily basis knowing that people all around me are desperately in need of Jesus Christ. Seriously - do I believe what scriptures tells me? Do I believe Peter when he declares that "the end of all things in near"? And what about the fact that Christ made it clear that when "the Good News about the Kingdom of God is preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it" that THEN "finally, the end will come"? Do we think Jesus was just talking to hear his head rattle? Would He make this sort of claim just to raz us - get our attention - to only drop the "Just kidding!" bomb on us later? No.
Why are we not daily wrecked by the lost? Why do I sit in a restaurant more concerned with the service of the waiter than his salvation? And I know that meeting people's needs - being the "hands and feet" of Christ - reaching out and serving the "least of these" - is part of bringing the Kingdom of God wherever I go. But is it not also announcing that Jesus Christ died on a bloody cross for the sins of the world and is the only way to find salvation and peace and redemption?
Is it a greater tragedy that someone died in Haiti who will be eternally separated from their Creator and Redeemer? Or is it a greater tragedy that someone lives next door to you (or me), works in the cubicle next to you, sits in the bleachers at your kids game with you, walks through this life with you...not knowing their Creator and Redeemer...and we just don't care? What is the greater tragedy?
If we are moved and changed and wrecked by the Gospel - by the love and salvation found in Jesus Christ - it's time to prove it! This story I'm writing called MY LIFE - I want it to be filled with risks and laughs and faith and failures...but NOT tragedy. Especially not the tragedy of opportunity lost and words left unsaid.
What story are you writing?
January 6, 2010
The Moment the Wrecking Began
Just 2 months ago in our "Weapons" series we talked about the worldwide crisis of fatherlessness - that there are 100's of millions of orphans sleeping alone tonight all over our planet. This does not sit well with the Creator and Redeemer of the universe! And for the last couple of years it has caused me to lose some sleep. I'd like to share with you where all of that began.
It was June 2007. 12 of us headed out for Nassau, Bahamas, to work with Mission Discovery. And trust me, this was not an "island getaway"! We knew going in that we were going to be working at a home for children (nice way of saying orphanage), but none of us knew how bad this was going to wreck our hearts and lives. You don't hardly ever knowingly plan on being wrecked! One of my very close friends almost had to be convinced not to try and smuggle one boy out with us. And I think she prayerfully and tearfully considered going back and getting him for months after we left. Even with all of the emotional attachment and love that spread through my heart like fire that week, my wall was still standing. God hadn't hit me hard enough yet. And then...we started toward home.
On the plane on the way back I knew I had the grueling work ahead of me of taking all the video I had shot - playing it back - and putting it together. If you've been on a mission trip you know this video - the one that you show so that everyone who went can feel good about what they did and everyone who didn't go can either a) feel bad they didn't go or at least b) feel good that they gave someone else $25 to help pay their way. I began going through the thousands (and I mean thousands) of songs on my iPod, trying to find just one song that would sum up or capture the heart of what we'd experienced - this painful marriage of happiness and horror. And then - never expecting it or seeing it coming - I found this song. This was the moment the wrecking began.
For years I have listened to the band Tonic. Most people say, "I don't know their music". Actually, you do. They're one of those bands that - as my friends Andy and Dee discovered this fall when we saw them in concert - wrote a bunch of songs you've heard but didn't know who was singing them. I scrolled past the song, "Take Me As I Am". Scrolled past it again. And again. And it was like someone started whispering the words of the song into my ear, reminding me of what was being said. The moment I hit play was the moment God finally turned to the guy operating the wrecking ball and said, "Let it fly, Larry!" (Larry might not have been his name, but I think it's a good name for a wrecking ball operator). I don't know Emerson Hart's story or even what he intended or meant when he wrote these words. But here's what the song says:
It was June 2007. 12 of us headed out for Nassau, Bahamas, to work with Mission Discovery. And trust me, this was not an "island getaway"! We knew going in that we were going to be working at a home for children (nice way of saying orphanage), but none of us knew how bad this was going to wreck our hearts and lives. You don't hardly ever knowingly plan on being wrecked! One of my very close friends almost had to be convinced not to try and smuggle one boy out with us. And I think she prayerfully and tearfully considered going back and getting him for months after we left. Even with all of the emotional attachment and love that spread through my heart like fire that week, my wall was still standing. God hadn't hit me hard enough yet. And then...we started toward home.
On the plane on the way back I knew I had the grueling work ahead of me of taking all the video I had shot - playing it back - and putting it together. If you've been on a mission trip you know this video - the one that you show so that everyone who went can feel good about what they did and everyone who didn't go can either a) feel bad they didn't go or at least b) feel good that they gave someone else $25 to help pay their way. I began going through the thousands (and I mean thousands) of songs on my iPod, trying to find just one song that would sum up or capture the heart of what we'd experienced - this painful marriage of happiness and horror. And then - never expecting it or seeing it coming - I found this song. This was the moment the wrecking began.
For years I have listened to the band Tonic. Most people say, "I don't know their music". Actually, you do. They're one of those bands that - as my friends Andy and Dee discovered this fall when we saw them in concert - wrote a bunch of songs you've heard but didn't know who was singing them. I scrolled past the song, "Take Me As I Am". Scrolled past it again. And again. And it was like someone started whispering the words of the song into my ear, reminding me of what was being said. The moment I hit play was the moment God finally turned to the guy operating the wrecking ball and said, "Let it fly, Larry!" (Larry might not have been his name, but I think it's a good name for a wrecking ball operator). I don't know Emerson Hart's story or even what he intended or meant when he wrote these words. But here's what the song says:
I never knew my Father, I never knew his pain
Or when an empty home life would break him down again
So when I feel like running I have to look inside
I want to find the answers, I want to break me line
Fear falls down like rain...and makes me whole again
Fear falls like rain
Take me as I am, I'm not broken
Pieces of my life are not tokens
I want to let you know I'm still learning
How to love again and stop hurting
It hit me like a tsunami and - at 30,000 feet in the air - ripped through my heart like a knife through water. These words were not something I knew - this was NOT my life. But for millions of children all over this world - in my world, my country, my time zone, my city even - there's a desperation and hunger inside that's crying out, "I want to love! I want to stop hurting! I want to BE loved! I want someone to save me and prove me wrong - prove to me that I'm worth saving!" And sure, like millions of others I've sat and looked at their faces on television...millions of miles away...far from my reality and just at a safe enough distance they I didn't have to let them in or even come to grips with the fact that they were actually real. But they are real. And my television can no longer sustain the illusion of the distance. There is no more distance! Can you get any closer than your heart? I guess before we answer that question we have to ask another one: Is your heart open to being reached? Are you even the slightest bit willing to be wrecked? Because sadly, many of us spend a great portion of our lives with trowel and mortar in hand, just waiting on God (or anyone for that matter) to try and start slamming away at our wall - waiting on God to even think about having the audacity to try and break us - so that we can patch up and repair any damage that our heart might incur. Are you breakable? Are you heart and soul? Or are you brick and wall?
Why am I writing about this? Many close to us know that the Lord has been whispering to me (and Morgan) about this for some time. Why did I need to share this today? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because the Lord keeps on wrecking me. And me writing this - and you reading this - is one more step toward the obedience Christ is calling me to when He says that He cares about the fatherless. They aren't ON His agenda - they ARE His agenda. The question is, will they be MY agenda?
Is He wrecking you, yet?
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