Bad Advertisers

I'm currently reading The Tangible Kingdom, by Hugh Halter. I will very soon be writing on, reviewing, and regurgitating much of what Hugh has to say about missional community, it's biblical foundation and origin, and its powerful return as the main driver of the gospel to the lost world we live in. And when I say "lost world", I'm referring to the very culture, city, and neighborhood where you set your security system and shut your garage door. If the church - not "the place where" but "the people who" follow Jesus Christ - doesn't return to missionary, exile living (and abandon our sheltered, attractional ways), we will very quickly see that the Lord's main sending agent into the world has rendered itself irrelevant in America. But on to the real reason for this post.

In The Tangible Kingdom, Halter makes this statement:

"Advertisements by their very nature are intended to coerce thinking and behavior. They are needed when there is no personal relationship between the seller and the potential buyer. This type of coercion is expected when you're trying to decide what beer to drink or car to buy, but it's highly offensive when people try to tell you important truths without any tangible relationship."

In my first 2 years of college (when I was a Telecommunications/Marketing major at Texas Tech University), I was armed with just enough marketing and advertising knowledge to be dangerous - to myself and others. That said, it has actually been of enormous help to me as a pastor and as someone who knows that the power of influence is crucial. The above statement is spot on. And here's why it's important to those of us who are already IN the church: 

We're quickly becoming "advertisers" with NO credibility to sell a product.

NO. I am by NO means suggesting that Jesus is a "product" (OR) that we are door-to-door salesmen. But that's my point. We act like we are. And the worst part is we really suck at it. What we ARE good at is the old "Bait & Switch". Of course the above billboard is going to get some folks attention. But when they show up and the Jesus you sell them is only half as interesting as Justin Timberlake, they're done. Seriously? Jesus is bringing sexy back? 

If you don't agree with me, or you're just plain agitated with what I'm saying, then think about this question for a moment: Why do churches need to "advertise"?

Shouldn't the lives of "the people who" call themselves "the church" be so powerfully impacting the lives of those around them that the idea of needing to put a mediocre commercial on cable TV borders on absurd? Should we be "coercing" people to visit "the place where" or should "the people who" be influencing them in such a way that they just long to be a part of this thing called the family of God?

This is not a post against commercials. I have friends who make commercials.
This is a question about HOW we're attempting to reach people. 
Are we even making an attempt?
Are we broken for those around us who are walking in darkness, bearing the weight of hopelessness?
Are our lives building credibility to the message our lips should be speaking:

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the downtrodden will be freed from their oppressors, and that the time of the Lord's favor has come."

The LAST Thing Should Be the FIRST Thing

I don't know about you, but it seems like most of the time the LAST thing I do winds up being the FIRST thing I should have done. Whether it's taking action, caving in to worry and anxiety, assuming the worst about someone or something (or some circumstance that's even more out of my control than what I really realize), or even planning for the future, I often tend to walk these paths only later to look behind me - catch a glimpse in my rearview at the wake of what I've left behind - and wonder, "Why didn't I pray?" Have you been there? Are you there now?

I don't just mean throw up a few "Hey, God...if you're listening..." heaves of desperation, I'm talking about communing with the Father. Coming "boldly to the throne of our gracious God" and begging for His wisdom, discernment, guidance, and simply to rest in His presence. Why is this often the LAST thing we do?

This morning I was reminded that in "church work" (whatever the heck that actually means) we are sometimes more guilty of this than anyone. We get so entrenched in the DOING that we run away from the Lord, like a little kid at the mall. Only kids at the mall run ahead of their parents. We don't get AHEAD of God, we just wander off in what we think is the right direction. "Hurry up, would you, Lord! We don't have all day!" Where the Lord got my attention this morning was in Matthew 9:35-38. Jesus took pity on the crowds because they "were like sheep without a shepherd". So his instruction to the disciples was to "pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask Him to send out more workers for His fields." Take a minute and study those words carefully. Seriously. Read them again.

Notice a few things:

• Jesus did NOT say, "Men, get your butts in gear and start recruiting more people. Come up with a better way to market this, fellas. Stop sitting around, waiting on them. Go get'em!" The FIRST thing He tells them do is PRAY.
• Those of us in "the ministry" often get delusional - almost dizzied - and start confusing things, thinking that WE are in charge of "the harvest". We would be wrong. As Paul says in Corinthians, it is "God, not us, who make it grow... You are God's field, God's building - not ours." We're the workers. HE owns the field.
• It is the Lord who does the sending - the calling and drawing - not us. The Spirit of God speaks, lures, breaks, captivates, and calls to the heart of the Father. We can't do that. Yet, if we're being honest, we often live, act, preach and lead like we think we can.

What are we called to do? PRAY.

What is NOT a means to end - a desperate cry for the greater work to take place - but actually the greater work itself? PRAYER.

Where is the need around you? Are you seeing that "the harvest if plentiful"? Have you prayed? Have you asked the One in charge of the need to do something about it?

We are called to make disciples.

We are called to "equip the saints to do the work of ministry".

We are called to plant, to water, to cultivate, and yet to always remember that it is ONLY the Lord "who makes it grow". 

Let's return to the mandate of our Savior and consistently, constantly, fervently "pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; asking Him to send out more workers for His fields." Let's stop allowing the FIRST priority to be our LAST resort!

Come early. Park far. Sit close.

Come early. Park far. Sit close.

We came up with this little mantra earlier this year, preparing our people to actively make a difference for the guests who would show up at our services on Easter Sunday. When we first began challenging our church family with this idea, it was almost overwhelming how many people responded. We had several individuals and families who not only took the exhortation seriously; they even switched to our early (9:00) service to make more room for guests in our late (10:45) service. It was incredibly encouraging.

Since that time, knowing that the newness and impact of the phrase (and with it, the idea itself) has worn off, many people have drifted back to the way things were before; showing up late, parking as close as they can (since they’re already late and need to get in quickly), and coming in and filling up the back seats. Old habits die hard.

I’d like to take a few minutes and explain why this is more than just a catchy mantra or passing catch-phrase; that it’s actually a window into our worship.

First off, why “Come early”? Our consumer culture (even penetrating into the church and Christianity) believes that it’s “all about me”. We would never say this, but most folks come shopping (call it hunting, if it makes you feel better) and looking for a church that “meets my needs” or that does music the way we like it. It’s initially about ME. That said, it can’t stay about me. At some point, it has to become about others. And to take it a step further, it’s actually all about God! So when we encourage our people to come early, it’s for several reasons:

• ·      If we discipline ourselves to come early, then we are much more likely to discipline ourselves to prepare our hearts before we even arrive.
•     When we come early, we’re here – ready and available – to greet guests who come in, creating a welcoming environment of hospitality. Most of us forget what it feels like to not know anyone.
•     Do you show up for your job late? (If your answer is “Yes”, then we have another conversation that needs to take place.) What about sporting events? My son and I arrive at Tennessee Football games 2-3 hours before the kickoff! We don’t want to miss a thing that happens! It’s a matter of priority. Are you making corporate worship a priority?
•     Our worship team spends 3-4 hours preparing for what they’re going to do to lead us on Sunday mornings. When you miss the first 10 minutes, you are saying to them without ever uttering a word, “I don’t care about your time.” You might not mean this, but it’s the message that’s being sent.

Moving on, why does it matter where we park? The answer is simple, really. Our desire is not only to honor our guests – to make them feel welcome and wanted – but to make things as easy as possible for them. The more parking places there are at the front, the better. It also leaves room for pregnant mothers, senior adults, and families with special needs. (And do we even need to mention that most of us probably need the exercise?)

You came early, and you even parked in the north 40, but why should you “Sit close”? The answer to this question is much like the last one. The people we expect to come in a few minutes late are our guests. Maybe they couldn’t find The Brook, they got lost, or they just wanted to slip in unnoticed their first time here. We extend them this opportunity when we leave the back few rows empty and open. But when the first place people gravitate is toward the back, those guests – or anyone, for that matter – who walk in late are forced to feel as though they’re “making a scene”, parading in front of everyone. And it can actually be a huge distraction, not only for those sitting around them, but also for those leading.

Come early. Park far. Sit close.

This is way more than just bumper sticker material; it’s a worldview. It’s a window into how you look at life, your hunger for God, and your love of others. I want to ask you to prayerfully consider taking this challenge with us. And even if you don't go to The Brook, I know this would apply at your church as well. I have overwhelming evidence that as you take this step to bless others, you will be blessed in the process.

Don't Waste the Whiteboard

Over the past few years I've become a fan of the whiteboard. In our offices we keep a stocked arsenal of dry erase markers. I like to be ready at all times! In most cases when my chicken scratch winds up on the wall, it's for one of a couple purposes: 1) to take notes of a conversation our staff is having on a current issue or 2) for brainstorming. (I've been known to bust out the whiteboard during my sermons now and then, but that's mainly just to put a visual to the teaching. Different scenario.) When we use the whiteboard to keep a visual record of our dialogue, I now take a picture with my phone and clip it into Evernote so that I can follow up with it later. It's incredibly helpful. But then...there's the brainstorming. What about the brainstorming? What do we do with that? Maybe an even better question for us to ask is WHY? Why do we brainstorm? This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Humor me, if you will, but I've recently wondered, "If the whiteboard could talk, what would it say?" After our staff - or one of our teams - or you and your team - huddle together, attempt to let our minds go "outside the box", spew our humble, yet hopefully creative musings all over the wall in full color display, what would the whiteboard say to us? Here are a few things that I think we might possibly hear:

• Is that all you've got?
• They're never going to say everything they're thinking for fear of your criticism.
• Why did you quit? Right when you started to get somewhere...you quit.
• What's the point if you don't risk something? What's the point if you don't go out on a limb and put this to the test?

The definition of brainstorming could be described as "an exercise in which members of a group attempt to creatively solve a problem by gathering a list of spontaneous ideas". (I borrowed a morsel from the Wikipedia definition) So a few things have to actually happen for brainstorming to occur:

1. You have to have a group. Rarely can brainstorming be a solo activity.
2. Members of the group can't enter the session with preconceived ideas. This would not be spontaneous.
3. Members of the group have to trust each other. NO ONE will feel the freedom to spout out off-the-wall or (potentially) crazy or risky ideas when the fear of criticism or rejection hangs looming over their heads.
4. There has to be an understanding that for a certain period of time - even if it's just for a few minutes - anything goes. If you're really striving for "spontaneous creative thought", you can't be afraid of the ridiculous. [And there has to be an understanding that a vital part of brainstorming occurs afterwards: weeding out the ridiculous to find the potentially real game-changer. While I have to feel the freedom to inject my thoughts without limits, I also have to be mature enough to see them thrown out later.]
5. And finally, if you're the leader - if you're the one organizing, moderating, and leading the brainstorming session - and you're not really at the end of the day wanting the creative input of others - if what you actually want is for someone to rubber stamp or affirm your own ideas - don't waste the whiteboard! Don't waste the time and energy and brain-power and God-given courage for spontaneity of those who are willing to lay it out there. Just do it the way you want it done and be done with it.

Brainstorming is risky. It's time-consuming. It's work. But if you're willing to do the work, take the time, and (most importantly) take the risk, it will be worth it in the end. Because if all you come away with is ONE really good idea, you've got so much more than what you started with. So do the work. Take the time. And take the risk!

The Church & The Children

Parenting. There is no job on earth like it. You don't punch a clock or get a lunch break. In fact, it's not a job at all; it's a God-given honor and responsibility. So much so that scripture says in Psalm 78:5-7 that the Lord "commanded our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know...and arise and tell their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments." The greatest calling of discipleship that God has placed on us happens in our own home - our children. There is no greater calling. (See also Deuteronomy 6)

How does the church fit into this? This is a question I addressed in my sermon this past Sunday. [You can listen to the podcast here: The Next Generation] 

2 important points I made were:

• It's the church's responsibility to equip/train parents to equip/train their kids.
• It's the parents responsibility to teach their children WHO God is and WHAT He's done.

Church - train parents.

Parents - train children.

Obviously close to nothing on earth is actually this simple. Yet, we tend to make it a whole lot more complex than it is. Traditionally and culturally - if you've "grown up" (and I use that term loosely) in the church - the tendency is to think  that the local church needs to provide all kinds of opportunities, events, and programs for kids. If there's a void, we tend to look to the church to do something about it. But I would challenge that, while the void felt is real and legitimate, the seemingly natural solution to the void is not. It's not the church's responsibility to train your children. It's yours.

At the end of the day, I think most Christians believe this. At least, they'll say they believe this. Which is why it's incredibly confusing that some Christian parents seem determined to find one more thing for their kids to "do". As if one more program at the church is going to radically transform their life. (And while I know that there are actually some parents that are ultimately just looking for a safe place to "dump" their kids, I operate under the hopeful assumption that this is NOT the motive of most.) I would ask: Isn't the greater possibility that the void is in the home? Could it be that the void being felt is that we feel completely inadequate and ill-equipped to train these little people up in the ways of the Lord? Yes. This is the more likely source of our frustrations. So the real question becomes, "What are we going to do about it?"

While I can only speak for myself and our church, we have determined that we are going to continue taking steps to train and equip parents. At the same time, we're going to lead, encourage, challenge, and exemplify to them what it means to leave margin in your life (lives) to actually be able to LIVE OUT the faith that we are teaching them. We are not going to create more calendar chaos to inhibit or paralyze our people from actually "training up their children". We're going to do the opposite. I believe that if we take the guidance and mandates of the Lord from scripture (Deut. 6, Psalm 78, Matthew 28) and read them as one, we can hear Him telling us, "As you're going to soccer practice, as you're having breakfast together, as you're cooking out with your neighbors, as you're tucking them into bed - everywhere you go, as you go - teach them. Train them. Tell them WHO I am. Tell them WHAT I've done! Show them the evidence in your own life that I am Almighty, most Holy, Sovereign, Faithful, Wonderful God. Tell them WHO they are in me - sons and daughters. Show them what to do - follow Jesus. And let me know that this life is ONLY lived through the power of my Spirit working through them. Train them. Teach them. Show them. Always!"

This is the relationship between the church and the children.

This is the greatest burden and responsibility we bear as parents.

This is the greatest honor and privilege we know.

We bear this burden together. No one can do it alone.

Have you felt this burden or void? Do you feel this inadequacy? 

Is your church train you to train them? Or are they just "taking care" of your kids?

More to come....

The Other Side

NOTE: This is the first post I wrote for Relevant Magazine's God Column. It was an enormous blessing to see the Lord use trial, sorrow, and the valley in my life to be an encouragement to others. I think that's a vital part of our journey as Christ-followers - our suffering and sorrow shaping our hearts and drawing us to the great Comforter. I hope you are encouraged.

Have you ever had that moment, that experience, that phone call that you won’t forget for the rest of your life? I have. It was Friday night, January 9^th, 2004, at 10:15pm. I was at one of my former students homes; he had just returned from boot camp and a group of us had gone over to hang out and hear the stories. My phone rang and it was my brother. He asked me where I was and if I could get somewhere private. “Are you sitting down?” This immediately pushed the panic button. I went into a bedroom, closed the door, and said, “What’s going on?” Here is the point where life changed…and has never been the same.

A sidenote for background purposes: My parents had just a year and a half earlier built their last house; the one they would retire in, have the grandchildren playing in the backyard, host BBQ’s and dinner parties – the house was great. And it wasn’t anything ridiculously extravagant. It was just what they needed. One of the details about my parents home that added so much to its beauty was the 12-foot ceilings. This made the house seem so much bigger than it probably was. I loved that house.

So I sat down and asked my brother, “What’s going on?” Very calmly Brent told me that Dad had been in the attic and fallen through the ceiling. And when he fell (12 feet down) he hit his head on the island in the middle of the kitchen. They were in the ambulance, headed to the hospital and Dad wasn’t conscious. I kept waiting on the “good part”, the part where he says, “…but the paramedics think he’s fine…he’ll be OK….” The good part never came.

That night was filled with phone calls, prayers, tears and 15-minute segments of sleep here and there. It seemed eternal. The next morning I got on a plane with my wife and daughter and took the Wichita to Dallas flight. We were at Harris Hospital in Ft. Worth before 9am. As I entered the hospital, I remember being awestruck by the hundred or so people gathered in the lobby from my parents church. Yes, hundreds. You see, my dad was a pastor. Not a preacher…a pastor. And for years, if you were a member of Fielder Road Baptist Church and you were in the hospital, or your spouse had suddenly passed away, or your child was lying in NICU with a breathing tube, or your daughter had run away in anger, or your marriage was being torn apart – my dad was there. You would be hard-pressed to find a handful of people at the church (and we’re talking out of thousands) who had not been touched or impacted by my dad and his ministry. And now suddenly, HE was the one in need. It was as if this countless army of people who were part of our family had no choice but to come…to be there. And I remember standing there in the lobby at one point that morning, being touched by people with tears and smiles, and someone suddenly breaking out into my dad’s favorite hymn, “The Love of God”. I was moved.

I remember my mom taking me into my dad’s room in the Trauma ICU and not being able to do anything but stand there, hold my dad’s hand and cry. I remember as my mom left the room, leaning over on my dad’s chest and weeping, asking him to wake up. You are never the same when you’ve seen someone you love strapped to a bed with wires coming off of every part of their body and a breathing tube snaked down their throat. It changes you. Instantly.

The next day I was in my dad’s room, with my head again on his chest, and all of a sudden I heard a man named Don joyfully and confidentally praying over my dad, claiming his life and ministry could not possibly be coming to a close. Don put his hand on me at one point and I lost it. I believed everything he was praying, I just couldn’t get those words out of my own mouth. I didn’t feel that I could say anything to God without screaming. I would re-live this moment and many like it over and over again the next weeks. And then, something happened.

I remember, after returning to Wichita and attempting to return to life as normal, the phone call from my mom saying, “Dad’s opening his eyes!” You don’t know the power of those words until you’ve lived everything that came before them. This was the beginning of a very long road; a road with twists, turns, hills, potholes, detours and passers-by, oblivious to the baggage we were towing. It’s also a road that my family remains on today. You don’t walk this mountain and return the same. Things don’t return to normal. But I think one thing I’ve discovered is, normal is a mirage; it’s a figment of our imagination. Normal is a sedative we allow ourselves to swallow that makes us think we’re untouchable and that life as we know it is in this invisible bubble. Well, my bubble was popped.

I’ve realized that there was so much God had done through my dad’s accident, recovery, and his new life, that would never have happened without walking through this trial and experiencing everything that came with it. I think of the countless times I’ve been able to put my hand on someone, pray with them, and feel their pain in my heart. I KNOW what they’re going through. I know what it’s like to feel powerless, wanting that person you love to wake up, get up, go back and to have never gone into that attic, or gotten in that car. I drive by people now and realize that I have no idea what might have been thrown their way today. I just don’t know, and neither do you.

I’m not sure if you’ve gotten that phone call or had that moment, but if and when it comes, know that you will be changed. Know that the things you see and the way you will look at life could never have been seen from the other side. And know that the times when we are rendered powerless, we are never hopeless. Those are the moments God made us for.

Using Your Own Fork

NOTE: A few years ago I had the privilege of writing a couple of posts for Relevant Magazine's website. Recently I've had several conversations not only about these issues, but the posts themselves. So I thought I'd repost them in hopes that they might be an encouragement to someone. This is the first. (My son is now almost 8 years old. I guess a few years means 5-6!)

Recently, I dialogued with someone who shared with me of their plan to find a new church. This person felt that he could no longer attend our church because he was not “being fed”. Due to the fact that I have heard these words countless times before, it got me wondering, “What does that actually mean? Why are there so many Christians out there leaving their churches because they are spiritually starving?” Am I missing something?

The writer of Hebrews boldly confronts the church by saying, “You have been Christians a long time now, and you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things a beginner must learn from the Scriptures. You are like babies who drink only milk and cannot eat solid food. And a person who is living on milk isn’t very far along in the Christian life and doesn’t know much about doing what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who have trained themselves to recognize the difference between right and wrong and then do what is right.” (Hebrews 5:11-14, italics mine)

My son is 2 years old and is moving into the “I want to be a big boy” phase very rapidly. We’re working on potty training right now. What fun! But as we were teaching my son how to eat –  how to chew his food, how to use a fork, why we don’t throw the green beans, we eat them – without question, the most difficult task my wife and I faced was getting him to the point where he fed himself. He would devour a mouthful of mac & cheese, but we had to put it on the fork and put it in his mouth. This wasn’t really going to help him in the long run. After all, if you can’t feed yourself, you starve.

Considering this, it makes me wonder: Could it be that so many get to this place of feeling they’re not “being fed” be due to the fact that we haven’t taught them well enough how to feed themselves? Should we have new classes in church like Feeding: 101 and Using Your Own Fork? Seriously. Should it be reduced to this? Or could it also be that there are many who never get beyond the contentment and complacency of having someone else feeding them? Doing the work for them? Surviving on milk?

Acts 2 is a description of the early church. Luke tells us that the people “…joined with other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teachings….” (Acts 2:42, italics mine) Somewhere very early in the journey these people went from “being fed” to doing the feeding. They may have continued to be taught, led, fed, discipled and cultivated, but they also began to teach, lead, feed, cultivate and make disciples. And I believe they also figured something else out: if I’m not serving – putting my gifts to use – then I’ll eventually wind up starving. The cup gets full and has to be poured out. Otherwise, it cannot be filled again.

Most often, it seems that those who feel they are not “being fed” are the ones who have failed to feed anyone else. After all, Jesus wrapped a towel around His waist, washed His disciples feet and told them, “This is what it looks like to follow me.”

It seems to me that if someone has “counted the costs” as Jesus tells us to in Luke 14, and we understand that we must “take up our cross” – something no one else can do for us – then there has to be a point when we begin taking responsibility for our walk. There must come a day when we pick up our own fork and begin to feed ourselves.

I am not saying that we have no need for listening to sermons, hearing God’s word taught and proclaimed, or attending bible study. These are tools that we have as the church – His Body – that assist us in our walk. In fact, these tools actually further the point. If you’re attending a church where the Word of God is being accurately proclaimed, where the Bible is being taught, where the fellowship of the believers is present, where the Body of Christ is being the church and still, somehow, you’re not being fed…could it be you just haven’t learned to use your own fork?

Paul prayed for the Ephesians, “May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand….” (Ephesians 3:17-18, italics mine) “Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise.” (Colossians 3:16, italics mine) He says that the church should “equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church…until we come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord….” (Ephesians 4:12-13, italics mine) Paul makes references in Colossians, Philippians and elsewhere about being “mature” in our faith. Are you striving for this? Are you “straining to…receive the prize…”? Or are you still wanting someone else to feed you?

It’s like I tell my son, “If you want to be a big boy, you’ve got to pick up your fork.” If you feel like you’re not “being fed”, I encourage you to wrap a towel around your waist, wash someone else’s feet and pour your life out into someone else. I bet you’ll start feeling full real soon!

Dig Deeper:

Romans 12:1-2

Colossians 3:1-17