When you have kids, you begin hearing the word "Mine" more often. I used the word "hearing" very intentionally, in that we as adults don't necessarily say the word as much as we think it. Nonetheless, my 2 children have not yet accessed the filter that tells a person, "I really don't want anyone to know how selfish I am!" We just blurt it out: "Hey! That's MINE!" As a parent, every time you hear those words echoing through your home, it's like a defeating punch in the gut. You're tempted to say things like, "Oh yeah! Who bought you those toys? That's right - I did. And I'll give 'em away if you're not gonna learn to share them!" Ever said anything like that? Those kinds of things come out of my mouth more times than I can count. So the question remains, how do you teach your kids to move their heart and mind from MINE to OURS?
One way that Morgan and I have determined to teach this in our home is simply by modeling this mentality and heartbeat. We try to intentionally show Libby and Nathan that every single thing we OWN, we don't really own - that everything we have is a gift from God that He's entrusted to us so that we can bless others with it. For example, this summer we hosted 2 soccer coaches -from the British Soccer Camp Nathan attended - into our home. They lived with us for 6 days. We loved it! Matt and Tom very quickly became part of the family. We told them, "Whatever we have, it's yours if you need it." They used our shower, slept in our guest room, ate our food, stayed up late talking and watching American TV with us - they even drank my Red Bull! I actually loved this because it affirmed to us that they felt the way we wanted them to feel - like they were at home! And we try to model this on a constant basis. Many of the kids on our street come in and out of our backyard like they own the place. We love it! We WANT them there. And for that to happen, you have to start caring less about your grass, your furniture, and your fence. (Sometimes, I even think the fence just needs to come down!)
We travel a lot as a family. When we do, knowing that my car may be sitting in the garage for 7-10 days, I would rather someone who needs it get some use out of it. So I try and loan my car to friends who may not have their own. Again, it's not MINE in the first place! The Lord blessed me with that car so I could be a blessing to others. And I trust and believe that my children are not only hearing what we're telling them, but that they're watching us live it out, and that eventually...it's all going to click. That's what I'm praying for!
If you're still struggling with ownership, I encourage you to read Matthew 5:19-21.
If you're feeling defeated as a parent - feel like you're continually teaching, but it's not sinking in - I encourage you to read Proverbs 22:6. And do NOT give up!
What steps have you taken in your life to move from MINE to OURS?
There's one thing you could (and should) always be doing. Maybe right now you're feeling adrift - like you really have no idea what you want to do with your life. Almost all of us have been there, 1/2 way through college, questioning, "Do I really want to major in Philosophy...and minor in Art History? What am I going to do with this?" While I would seriously have zero advice for you about what the heck to do with your Art History degree, I would start with another question: What are you doing right now? Whether you're struggling with your degree choice, your upcoming career, making a job change, going back to school, starting that business, or whatever it may be, what are you doing RIGHT NOW? Because there is ALWAYS this one thing you should be doing. If you're a follower of Jesus Christ, you are called to "make disciples". And this means you should ALWAYS be investing in someone. ALWAYS!
You might add or ask, "How can I invest in someone - how can I "make disciples" - if I don't even know what the heck I'm doing with my life?" While you may not know what you're doing with your career, as a Christ-follower, you should clearly know what you're doing with your life. Jesus said, "Come, follow me." And you said, "OK!" But somewhere along the road we lose sight of that and get wrapped up in our own chaos and confusion. We begin being consumed with the DOING and lose focus on the BEING. Our world starts revolving around things like my major, my career choice, and my promotion...and as a result, we abandon the mission and path we embraced when we put our faith in the carpenter from Nazareth. Have you found yourself there? Has your vision in life been blurred?
If you're feeling lost or confused, second-guessing everything in your life right now, I would encourage you to make a simple commitment: Begin investing in someone else. Meet them for lunch once a week and talk about life. Walk together through a book of the Bible (like Philippians or Ephesians). Find an opportunity in or with your church to serve together. Do life. Invest in them! When you do, a lot of other things will begin to come clear.
Have you witnessed or experienced this in your own life?
Would love to hear your story!
This is the 2nd post I have written in response to Dr. Henry Cloud's book, Necessary Endings. You can read the first post HERE. I recommend you read it first.
Let's talk about a familiar subject that many of us love to hate: CHANGE. In his book, Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud quotes Julie Shimer, CEO of Welch Allyn (the world's front-running medical supply manufacturer). As she described the events and processes that led to this 100-year old innovator reaching the conclusion that, while they were still the leaders in their field, and their customers were happy, and they were incredibly comfortable with their position and their products, they could suddenly see a time in the future when WHAT they were doing would be obsolete. They (or actually, she) began to realize that "the way we were doing it could not bring about the future reality that we wanted. We had to change!" And whether we like it or not - no matter how long we fight to prolong the inevitable - it's the same for every single one of us in leadership: CHANGE...OR DIE!
I've seen more church workers and ministry leaders than I can count reach a point of indescribable loss - a point where they have absolutely no idea how they got where they are and (more importantly) no idea where to GO from there. Let's face it: If you don't know where you ARE, it's pretty tough to figure out where you're going. Going further with it, another key principle in us moving, growing, and changing is (as Shimer puts it) being able to "picture an ideal future". What does that look like? If the world is changing, this doesn't mean that people will - as a result - be changing with it. The world is changing BECAUSE people are changing! And if the mission of the Church is reaching those "changing" people with the Gospel, we have to determine what that's going to look like 10 years from now. Are we moving in that direction? Or are we ignorantly riding our Sit 'n' Spin, thinking we're going somewhere, while we remain immobile?
Do you know anyone who's stuck? Is it you?
Dr. Cloud suggests that there's a way out of this hole. Better yet, a way to determine that you won't wind up in this ditch in the first place. He puts it this way: "The first step that will motivate you to do what is necessary is to see that what you are doing has no hope of getting what you want." He goes on and adds that "...it does not take courage to stop doing what you know is not going to work." Let that soak in for a moment. If we are seeking, pursuing, and seeing the ideal - and we are courageous enough to see things realistically, for what they really are - we will have a much better opportunity to not only determine our desired destination, but just as crucial, the path and steps that will get us there. And hidden in that last statement is the key: We have to see things as they are, not as we want them to be. Not future things, but what's right NOW - what's staring us straight in the face. Jack Welch - arguably the greatest CEO of the 20th Century - had a first rule of business: "Face reality". This drives a stake straight into the heart of what I mentioned a moment ago: You have to know where you are to know where you're going. Not where you want to think you are - what your desired Utopian reality is - but the actual state of things in your life, your business, your marriage, or your church.
Can you see things clearly? If not, what's clouding your vision?
I highly recommend Dr. Cloud's book to anyone in a position of leading - a family, a business, a church or ministry, or any situation of leadership.
This past Sunday we started a brand new series, A Misplaced Joy. This series is based off a brand new book (of the same name) written by a close friend of mine, Ryan McCoskey. I'll be sharing with you really soon how you can get a copy of the book. And trust me, you really want to read this book! This post stems from my first message, The Betrayed & Denied.
Have you ever wondered how Peter could have arrived at the point of denying Jesus? How could the man closer to Christ than any other human wind up disowning Him - pretending he didn't know Him? [Hang with me for a moment, but think about Job. Do you remember that God literally asked Satan, "Have you considered my servant, Job?" In other words, "What do you think about Job? Have you seen how he reveres and trusts and follows me? What are you going to do about it?" Other than saying, "You can't kill him", Job's Creator basically gave the devil access to do with him whatever he wanted. He let Satan test Job.] Now, back to Peter. How could he wind up in this dark place? I'd like to suggest and submit exactly how this happened. Check out Luke 22:31-32:
"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."
Peter - Satan came and asked me if he could have full access to you. He wants to see what you're made of - to see if you'll stand. I didn't say no. I didn't turn him away. BUT...I'm praying for you! You have to walk through this fire. You have to find out for yourself what it means to follow me. And Peter, when - not IF - but WHEN you turn back to me, strengthen your brothers and your friends.
So here's the thing: If you're a follower of Jesus Christ, there will be a time - mark it down - when the Lord will allow you to be "sifted like wheat". He will allow the Enemy to find out what you're made out of - to see if you will stand. And in the sifting - in the testing - you may find yourself beaten down, feeling alone and desperate, ready to give in and give up. But...you will NOT be alone. And as Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 4, you will NOT be crushed. And WHEN you come through the fire and walk through the testing, you will actually be stronger. And Jesus longs for us to hear His words and His heart in these moments: I will restore you. And even though you don't understand this, you need this. It won't be easy. In fact, it will possibly be the most painful thing you've ever endured. But...I'll walk through it with you.
Have you been "sifted like wheat"?
Are you prepared to walk through this in order to truly follow Jesus?
This is what it means to live in the Kingdom.
I'm not sure how long it's been since I've taken a week off from the blog, but it's been awhile. Incredibly ironic that just a few weeks ago I finished reading and reviewing Bryan Allain's new eBook, "31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo!", that I would decide now to take a break. In all honesty, it's been a blessing. I've stepped back & really assessed the question, "Why am I writing this on this blog in the first place?" It's been a breath of fresh air for me. I can't wait to start a brand new conversation with you about HOW and WHY and WHERE we see the Kingdom of God springing up all around us, IN us, and THROUGH us! So, I'm ready - once again - to bring it!
My Men's Group is reading the book Spiritual Discipleship, by Oswald Sanders. I believe this is a foundational book for any Christ-follower (along with Spiritual Maturity & Spiritual Leadership). This morning I was reading through what Sanders lists as the core principles of a disciple of Jesus Christ. As he's talking about the example Christ set for us, he makes this observation: "Only twice in scripture is Christ specifically stated to be our example: once in connection with service, and, significantly, the other in connection with suffering (1 Peter 2:21)." He goes on to say that "most of us would have no objection to being a master or a mistress, but servanthood and slavery have little attraction. And yet that is the way the Master went. He knew that such an other worldly concept would not be welcomed by an indulgent and ease-loving world of men. But He did not reduce His standards to attract disciples."
I've been challenged to ask myself (deeply) lately, "Is this the Jesus I'm following?" In fact, there are times I wonder if maybe I've - without realizing it - been expecting Jesus to follow me. This wouldn't look the same. My way would be easier. A LOT easier! Jesus served. Jesus suffered. And Jesus told His disciples, "No servant is greater than his master." (John 13:15-16) So, what Jesus am I following?
What Jesus are you following?
Troy Davis was executed in Georgia this week. He was charged for the 1989 murder of an off-duty police officer. This case brought the open wound of the death penalty painfully back out into the public eye and, as a result, provoked countless conversations and arguments on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. As a pastor and as a Christ-follower, my views about the death penalty have changed over the last few years. As the news of Davis's death spread all over the internet and local and national news on Wednesday evening, I posted this on Twitter:
I do not support the death penalty. Hard to go to sleep when justice is perverted.
My comment raised some reactions and questions. Some asked, "In this situation or in every situation?" Others wanted to know how I came to this conclusion. What about the Old Testament? Genesis 9:6 says, "Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image." (ESV) To put it into everyday language: "...you must execute anyone who murders another person, for to kill a person is to kill a living being made in God's image." (NLT) While this is true, we also know that Christ came along and established a NEW covenant with us - his people. An eye for an eye was addressed head-on by Jesus in Matthew 5. So are there times, situations, or circumstances where retribution is justified? When the death penalty is OK in the eyes of God? Here are my thoughts.
Jesus said in John 3:17, "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him." As Father Demetri Kantzavelos puts it in The Revolution: A Field Manual for Changing Your World, "The church can minister to living persons, corrupted as they may be. But the Church cannot call the dead to repentance and cannot visit and minister to them as Jesus taught." There are murderers every single day who come to repentance and faith in Christ. If they were dead, this wouldn't happen. Are there times when an individual has so severely brought the hallways of hell to someone else's doorstep that they simply deserve to die? I don't know. Those are difficult words for a control freak to say, so I repeat them: I DON"T KNOW.
What if the accused - the judged - is actually innocent? Do you know how many death row inmates have now been cleared because of DNA evidence? In all honesty, I don't know the number. All I need to know is ONE.
What if the Lord desired to use their repentance to bring others to faith? Again, I don't know. What about a man like Dennis Rader, the BTK serial killer? I lived in Wichita, KS, for 10 years and watched the aftermath of this man's capture, trial, and imprisonment. Does he deserve to die? Does he deserve the death penalty? Probably. But I'm pretty sure that Paul was explicit in Romans 6:23 that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." Apparently, I deserve the death penalty as well. How do we wrestle these things out?
That's the point. We have to wrestle with these issues. We have to dig into the Word and ask the Holy Spirit of God to give us wisdom and discernment...and love and compassion. And you don't have to sit still while you labor through this. Grab a friend from church and get involved in local prison ministry. Write someone in jail a letter. Pray for them!
These are my thoughts. What are yours?
What do you think about the death penalty?
Last night I'm catching a little TV and start noticing that Twitter (at least in my little realm & world) is about to blow up with news that the SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) "has announced the appointment of a presidential task force to study the prospect of changing the 166-year old convention's name." While I will admit the name "SBC" is not anything life-changing in itself - and I completely understand the baggage that is accompanied with this name from years of bad press, party affiliation and political intimidation, and just plain flat too much rhetoric AGAINST too many things - I still don't believe this is the answer to the real issues at hand. [BTW - Considering the idea of appointing a presidential task force of my own, just because it sounds so awesome.]
If you know computers - and especially if "You're a Mac" - you know that Apple has gone through some major transitions over the last 15 years. The main one being Steve Jobs returning to the company to focus on (what is now) the MacBook. Let me give you my totally unprofessional (maybe amateur's a better word for it) perspective on this history and situation. Some fundamental decisions had to be made at Apple: We are NOT selling a computer for data, spreadsheets, or mass networking - we are creating and marketing a desktop publishing, creative-thinking, right-brain, top notch machine. We know our target audience and we love them. We are going to do a few things and do them well. And they did. And they still are. Just look at the last 10 years of Apple's rise to the top. Yet, in all of that, take note of this one fact: Changing their name wasn't part of the equation. And most certainly there was years of frustration and baggage that were stapled to their name and identity. The name didn't need to be changed. It needed to be reborn!
Here's my theory: If the Southern Baptist Convention wants to take a serious, relevant, and realistic look at repairing the reputation of the denomination and beginning to reach thousands (if not millions) whose views and perceptions are tainted (at minimum), then changing the name doesn't mean squat. It's time to make some fundamental, grassroots changes - mainly in the realm of HOW you do things. It hasn't been the WHAT that's damaged the SBC's name - it's been the HOW. It's become known for what it stands against, and (worse) HOW it stands against it. It's become known as the Republican Party's Godfather, with the Religious Right standing in the wings, waiting to pounce. We've been shouting on street corners for 3 decades now - first against divorce, then abortion, then homosexuality, followed by gambling, then abortion and homosexuality. We've protested and denounced Disney (while on vacation there). Some in the SBC lash out at Rick Warren, while others deify him. The name - three little letters - isn't the problem. And it's certainly not the solution. Let me give you a few more examples:
Chad Ochocinco - Yeah. That was helpful.
Chaz Bono - Sorry, but I still know you're Chastity and God intended you to be a woman. Now I'm just scared of you.
Cru - Possibly the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a LONG time!
John Cougar - John Cougar Mellencamp - John Mellencamp (I'm confused.)
Prince - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince - ?????????? (You do have to admit, that symbol was catchy!)
I could go on. You get the point. And I'm fully aware that biblically this is a very familiar, even significant concept - name-changing. Saul became Paul. Simon became Peter. Abram became Abraham. This is by NO means an idea that God is opposed to. That said, it's very difficult for me to believe that until the very fundamental makeup and fabric of HOW things are done is changed - AND this becomes a very present and evident reality in the eyes of those previously hurt, wounded, or offended - no one's going to be fooled. Here's the bottom-line: If this name change is begin considered simply because of the baggage that goes along with it, it is senseless. You still have to tend to the baggage! But if this is being considered because the SBC is saying, "It's time to begin a whole new season and era of ministry and living out the Gospel together"...then I might see it differently. SBC: Do you want to be a name-changer? Or a game-changer? Figure that out first.
What are your thoughts?
