Over the last few months, I've been thinking through some of the most obvious & beneficial, yet often brutal & painful, life lessons I've learned so far in my 46.5 years of life. I'm going to share some of them in a series of posts. This is the first.
Possibly one of the most liberating days in your life is the day that you discover you do not actually know everything. It’s a serious chain breaker! The weight of the world is lifted off of you.
Somewhere, typically not too far behind the day previously mentioned, also comes the day that you discover no one actually expected you to know everything. In fact, it’s quite possible that those surrounding you not only knew you didn’t know everything, and didn’t expect you to know everything, but we’re praying for the day when you would make this discovery for yourself – and that it would come as soon as possible.
In the spirit of the chicken & the egg dilemma, I’m not sure if the appearance that we think we know everything is fueled by our constant necessity to have something to say to fill the void, (or) if our inability to stop talking and start listening is the catalyst behind our know-it-all nature. I actually don’t think it’s a chicken and egg situation at all. I think it’s a both/and issue. Let's break it down.
Lesson #1
You do not know everything.
You do not need to know everything.
No one expects you to know everything.
No one wants you to know everything.
It’s permissible - read that, beneficial - for you & me to utter the words, “I don’t know” every now & then. Especially when we actually don’t know.
If we're humbly learning & growing in this area, phrases like the following will possibly become part of our regular vocabulary:
- That's a great point.
- Could you tell me more about that?
- I'll have to think about that and get back to you.
- I'm not sure, but I will find out for you.
- What led you to that conclusion?
- I'd like to hear what you think about this.
Let's be clear: don't patronize people. Don't say anything I've listed above - or anything reminiscent of these statements or questions - unless you are genuinely ready, willing, & wanting to listen & learn.
Finally, I think there are really just 3 kinds of people: those who are constantly aware of their need to grow in this area who know it & are working on it; those who become aware out of the realization that they haven't been working on it; and those who are so void of self-awareness that they may read this entire post, never giving any consideration that this might be describing them, all while thinking about the other 10 people who need to read it and heed what it says.
If you're the latter, please return to the beginning of Lesson #1.
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