November 9, 2015

Merry Christmas, Starbucks!

Merry Christmas, everyone!
I know, I know, it's not even Thanksgiving yet. That's OK. It's never too early to get into the Christmas spirit. Am I right, or what? Of course I am.

The stores get into "the spirit" the day after Halloween ends. Maybe sooner. And Thanksgiving? Forget about it! We don't really even remember who the Pilgrims are anymore. Thanksgiving is all about Black Friday and football games. To be more specific, it's about spending money for Christmas! We're so stoked out of our minds about Jesus's birthday being around the corner that we can't contain ourselves. We find this uncontrollable urge to go out and lavish everyone we love in the spoils of our holiday savings. And don't get in our way, for cryin' out loud, or we'll run you down like a bulldozer over a Hot Wheel. It's Jesus's birthday. Hallelujah!!

And if that's the rhyme & reason for the Christmas season, count me out.

I'd like to say that my rant is inaccurate. 
I'd like even more to say that the accuracy of my rant is someone else's fault: the media, the stores, the economy, or the devil. Isn't there anyone else to blame?

Sadly, no.

We - the "people of God" - the "Christians" are as much to blame as anyone.
We are the hypocritical harlots who have reduced the celebration of the Son of God's birth to a consumeristic whirlwind of chaos.

Which is why it's all the more painful to (once again) watch the "Christian community" awakened from their slumber like an angry bear. Why? Because there are still too many children in foster care? Because the country of India is still 99.5% still unreached with the Gospel? No, no. Don't bother us with such trivial matters. The only thing that could awaken and arouse and anger us in such a way is for someone to offend us. And who better to put in our crosshairs...than Starbucks!

That's right, friends. In case you haven't heard, Starbucks has come out with a new cup for the holidays. The first thing you should know about the cup is that it's RED (which in case you didn't know is the color of the devil's suit). Not RED & _________. Just RED. But that's nothing. Wait til you hear what they had the audacity to put ON the cup. Want to take a guess?

A. A rainbow
B. A big middle finger
C. A silhouette of Donald Trump's hair
D. Starbucks
E. None of the above

If you guessed E, then you're right on the orange mocha frappucino money. What's written on the new RED Starbucks holiday cup? Absolutely nothing! Zero. It's just plain RED. Like the retro trash can in my office. Nothing but RED. Like a Santa suit, but without the white. Can you believe it. No Christmas Haiku. No jingle bells. No MERRY CHRISTMAS!?

No Merry Christmas on the new Starbucks holiday cup.

And all hell breaks loose.

Let the protests and boycotts and idiotic social media posts begin.

Let's tell Starbucks that "they can't take Christ out of Christmas!" As if that was their real intent. And even if it was, like they actually have that power. (Or do they?) 

Here's some food for thought for the ranting, raving, protesting, Jesus-loving, coffee-drinking Christian out there this holiday season:

  • If you're mad about this, then just quit drinking their coffee.
  • If this has so gravely offended you, maybe consider the $85 you would have spent in November on lattes being given to fund clean water or to some other charity.
  • Maybe also consider, for every action you take to rant against Starbucks (or whoever else out there over the next month attempts to "take Christ out of Christmas") you could actually share the life-changing truth of the Gospel with someone. Possibly even a Starbucks employee?

I know that so many of us have gotten so used to the idea that we're supposed to protect consumerism for Jesus, but I would challenge you with the fact that 1) Jesus doesn't need us to defend or protect him & that 2) he might possibly be against the thing(s) we're so desperately attempting to defend. Please do us all a favor and allow the Spirit and the scriptures to lead you. Please spend inordinate amounts of time praying and seeking the Lord's face before you ever step out in protest. Please get so consumed with sharing the truth of the Gospel and that Jesus is still in the business of setting slaves free from sin and death that the idea of getting sidetracked by ranting and raving against the culture (which we know is set against God because it's filled with the people who need Him) almost seems as mad and ludicrous as the culture itself. Please...stop defending and protecting your Kingdom and get really serious about advancing Jesus's Kingdom. 

You want Jesus in Christmas? Me too. So let's live it out. And remember:

"In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." And if the darkness has not, will not, and cannot overcome it, then neither can a plain RED coffee cup.

Merry Christmas, Starbucks!
Jesus loves you!