The Black Sheep. The Prodigal. The screw up. The list goes on.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I've heard someone, through this agonizing fog of self-pity, allow this sort of painful question to come flying out of their mouth: "Why am I the one? Why am I constantly messing things up? Why can't I just get it right?"
Maybe this is you. Maybe you've made one bad decision after another after another. Quite possibly (as beforementioned) as you've allowed yourself to be seduced and deceived by self-pity, you've also started to mistakenly believe that THIS IS JUST WHO YOU ARE, or that THIS IS JUST HOW YOU'RE WIRED. Maybe you think your destiny is to constantly repeat your mistakes and put your family through hell. If any of this is ringing a bell or starting to sound familiar, I want to encourage you and help you by telling you the truth.
Now don't misunderstand me, I'm completely aware of the fact that - by nature - you probably haven't been very good at hearing the truth. That's why you are where you are. But I'm believing that you're growing tired and weary of being in that place - that you're ready to shake this and truly make things new. If so, then I hope you'll keep pressing forward and read on. Here we go.
99% of the time that someone falls into this trap, begins taking on the identity of Family Screw Up or Black Sheep, becomes the one who makes Thanksgiving Dinner the most awkward moment for everyone, and just can't seem to ever get things straight, there's a very simple reason behind it. It's not earth-shaking or mind-blowing. In fact, it's actually so simple and foundational that it's irritating. If you want to know HOW to strip off this weight and once and for all be free, here is the FREE, money-back guarantee, simple solution:
STOP MAKING BAD CHOICES.
I told you it was irritating.
I know you wanted more.
Much like the Carmax commercials where people "want more drama", I'm sure that's you right about now. (That's part of the reason you keep being this person. You're magnetically drawn to drama like the tractor beam of the Death Star is sucking you in. KILL THE TRACTOR BEAM!) But it's really this simple. As Andy Stanley says in The Principle of the Path, "It's direction, not intention, that determines destination." [Read that again.] Do you grasp this life-changing reality? It doesn't matter what your INTENT is. What matters is the DIRECTION you walk. The STEPS you take. The DECISIONS you make. Those steps - one after another after another - are going to determine where you wind up. DIRECTION, NOT INTENTION, DETERMINES DESTINATION.
While you soak that in, I want to make sure you also understand one more piece of this puzzle. And it's the most important piece. WHERE you're headed and WHAT you do and HOW you live are all going to be rooted in WHO you are living for. These steps you need to take - the wisdom and discernment you need to even see what direction to go - will only be found through the power of God's Word and His Spirit guiding and leading you. Surrendering your life to Jesus Christ - FULLY SURRENDERING - is the beginning of you kissing that old person goodbye. [2 Corinthians 4 & 5 speak powerfully to this!] Until you surrender, you will just keep running back to your old identity. As painful and heartbreaking as it is, it's become comfortable because it's what you know. But God has better. MUCH better! Forget Black Sheep. He wants to make you "white as snow". But only He can accomplish this. Look at what Isaiah says:
"Come now, let's reason this out together", says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you will be eaten by the sword." For the mouth of the Lord has spoken. Isaiah 1:18-20
Surrender. Stop running. Maybe for the first time in your entire life:
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE!