A couple of weeks ago I began to notice that the vision in my left eye was going bad. I'm near-sighted, so I can't see things far away. But now everything was starting to go blurry - far away and up close. And it wasn't just blurry; I was almost like seeing double. I was seeing a bright light. And you're not supposed to see the "bright light" when you're standing upright and feeling otherwise healthy. So just 2 weeks after seeing the optometrist for a routine eye exam, I went back for another one.
My optometrist started me through the standard eye exam questions:
DR: What's the smallest line you can read? Guessing is fine.
DR: Which one of these is clearer? One.......or two? [PAUSE] One.......or two?
DR: If you cover your right eye with this, tell me what letters you can make out.
ME: None. Zero. All I see is a big, blurry white light.
At this point I could begin to sense some concern on her face and in her voice. Finally she paused for a few seconds and then said, "I don't think it's your vision. I think it might be your eye." So she squirted some dye in my eye, waited 30 seconds, shined what I thought was a light saber straight into my face, and said, "Ah ha! Now it all makes sense."
I thoroughly enjoyed the next thing she said. Without hesitation she asked me, "Did you rub sand in your eye?" All I could think of to say in response was, "Not that I'm aware of." After all, I had been to the beach, laying in the sand for a week. I could have unconsciously grabbed a handful and unknowingly given my cornea a deep tissue massage, I suppose. And before that I had been in Guatemala for a week building a house, sawdust flying everywhere, dirt blowing in our faces. And I have been known to rub my eyes now and then. For the love! What had I done?
However it happened - who knows when, where, or how - the surface of my eye had been scratched. Scratched bad! Like Jam Master Jay's turntables at a Run-DMC concert. (Insert wicky-wicky-wicky noise HERE). She told me with educated certainty: "You really did a number on this eye!" So she sent me home with the instructions: No contacts for a week, prescription eye drops 4x a day. If not better in one week, come back and see me. That was 9 days ago. I'm still looking through a foggy haze. Heading back to the optometrist next Monday. Until then, I'll forge ahead like a pirate and share another thought with you.
The way I see it, there are things in our lives that we consider to be on the "surface". They are things that take up our time, fill our mind, and most often, we think have no bearing on what's going on underneath. I can't tell you what those things might be in your life. I'm not supposed to. But I can tell you that in my life, I often live on the surface of things like TV, movies, and coveting all the things that so & so has that I think I need. We live on the surface. We sit in the kiddie pool while God is calling us to the depths. And it's like we're completely oblivious to the fact that our life on the surface - wading through the cesspool - is decaying and rotting what the Lord desires to do in the depths - in our hearts. The surface is being scratched way too much and it's affecting our vision. I have felt the great press of the Holy Spirit on my heart lately, whispering to me, "Brian. You've got to stop rubbing sand in your eyes!"
I'm praying for the discipline and desire to reach for the ointment and the salve rather than the sand.
I'm desperate to finally be done with living on the surface.
I want to see God! I want to see Jesus more clearly!
What do you want to see?