There are a few key things I am praying over right now - in my life and for my church. Some of them are things that I have my hand on - I have some tangible control over and will ultimately make the determination whether or not to "pull the trigger" (using a term that I hate but have no better replacement for). These are usually not the circumstances and trials and decisions where you are stretched to drastically (some would say "recklessly") trust that the Lord is going to lead or provide. It's when you have no control - when you can't physically insert your finger and push "GO" - that your faith is stretched to a new place. This is where we're changed.
Speaking of change, maybe this is why in many of these waiting periods - times where we sense and feel and know that change is looming, hovering over us like a cloud over Seattle - we finally stop waiting - and ultimately stop praying - and just decide to push "GO". [But wait. I thought you were talking about the times when you "can't physically insert your finger and push 'GO'?"] I am. This is the irony of our lives.
So often the Lord desires to give us something so much better than we would ever actually choose for ourselves. But the better thing - the thing we NEED - is different. It's unknown. It's [deep breath, and....exhale] CHANGE! And we like this 6-letter metamorphosis about as much as we enjoy grape jelly and hot sauce on our slice of rare liver. Yummy! Change gives us a rash. Actually, thinking about change gives us a rash that then spreads into infectious hives. Change - that we didn't ask for or weren't prepared for - brings out our defenses. It causes us to create "lists". Trust me, I know. I have some LONG lists! When we say we trust God (but secretly trust ourselves more) we make lists. We stop saying words like "trust" and "pray" and "hope" and we substitute them with words like "think" and "evaluate" and "realistically expect". You know what? I'm sick of "realistically expecting"! It's a pathetic substitute to "clinging to the faith that the Lord is going to provide and work and lead in a way that I have no capacity to begin to dream up". No more substitutes. Substitutes for God's best suck!
[And often God's best = CHANGE]
So I'm praying over these things - and praying and praying - and trusting that the Lord is going to give answers that I don't have and provide in ways that I cannot see. I'm trusting and praying and hoping and dreaming that He is going to answer these prayers, and in doing so - like it or not - He's going to change me. And I'm pretty sure - if I thought about it long enough - I probably need to be changed! What about you?