I realize more all the time that the longer I go without being productive - the more time I spend without making a contribution to the world around me - the more restless and weary I grow. I believe with all my heart that we all need time away from the everyday and the routine to re-focus and get some perspective on life. We also need time to spend with our families, showering reckless amounts of attention and love on them that can become too scarce at times. I don't think it's so much about that - I think it's more about tasting a life that I know I am not called to live. I am not called to "privilege".
God hasn't put me on this earth to judge anyone - I don't have the right or the ability. But I do have the responsibility to judge my own heart and motives and I can see clearly that privilege is not something I can grow used to. Just having possession of this laptop I type on may be the far reaching extent of any privilege I ever know or experience. Let that be enough.
I often think about John Piper's book "Don't Waste Your Life". I remember coming out of Juarez for the first time and feeling as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Then hopping on a plane, tearing open the pages of this book and having it reinforce everything I felt. Our life is about enormous things. And none of them have anything to do with privilege. Let that be satisfying.
Sure, I love the beach, the sun, the fresh shrimp and the sleeping in...but most of all I love remembering why I'm put on this earth. God is so good. Every good and perfect gift in my life comes from Him. I have all that I need.
Let that be enough.